flair: (Default)
yousei-san ([personal profile] flair) wrote in [community profile] metamorphosis2011-05-31 08:53 pm

243;

Title: Hopeless
Characters: F!Cousland, Alistair
Rating: G

It is with a heavy heart that she turns down Morrigan's offer to persuade Alistair into bed. It is because she loves him she cannot allow it to pass; it is because she loves him that she wants to protect him, and so when she slips into his room that night and sneaks into his bed, feels his arms wrap around her that she stifles tears and kisses him good night. She lets herself be a woman then, and the moment she's on the battlefield she becomes a Cousland.

It is with a heavy heart that she doesn't take Alistair with her. She tells him he's needed at the gate - one Grey Warden should protect the field here, the other of them should fight through the city. It doesn't stop him from worrying about her, brushing her hair back and kissing her forehead, and it doesn't stop the pang in the bottom of her stomach when she at last turns away and steps through the gates of Denerim. Her hound leans against her and whines, and she reassures him with a gentle scratch between his ears. Her team is asembled - her, Wynne, her hound, and Oghren - and they fight.

They fight like nothing else, through the city and against Darkspawn. The army champions on behind her, picking off the stragglers and saving her ass more than once. As they grow nearer and nearer to where the Archdemon roars, her heart becomes heavier and heavier. She has no doubt that Riordan can do it; it's only the small doubt that if he doesn't, she would have to be the one to kill it. Morrigan chided her and called her a fool the night she left and-- and she supposes she is.

When Riordan falls, her heart is stone. It almost cracks when she's staring down the Archdemon, and she wishes she could kiss Alistair goodbye one last time, take his face between her hands and murmur that it'd all work out in the end, and she sheds her regrets the moment the Archdemon bows its head to grab her and she leaps onto it with a scream, stabbing and slicing and hanging on for dear life. The deed isn't quite done yet - it hangs by a thread, but her hands don't shake when she gives one last smile to her team and plunges a soldier's sword into the head.

It is white, and it is painful, and the last thought that crosses her mind is that Alistair will make for an amazing king.

She wishes she could be by his side.